Startled Hush

Punchline QC
11.29.11




After dinner at Cafe 1771 and drinks at the Reserve, me, Vinz, Shiela and her cuz from States headed up to Punchline to get some dose of laughter (over Laffline since we are a fan of Wacky Kiray hehehe).  It has been ages since I visited the place and not much has changed physically (Anton Diva even lamented how 'modern' their cathode ray tube are! hehe).  


As expected, we were tickled to our delight, and didn't get any 'tirades' from the performers despite us being seated upfront! hehehe  It was fun, fun, fun and I want to apply what Kiray threw out to one lady.. like, duh, you are sooo difficult, ikaw ay sooo mahirap. hahahahaha!  Love, love his tactics :)


… and the best part of all, while waiting for the valet attendant to get Blake, Vinz bought roses from some random vendor and gave it to me and smack me in front of Shie and her cuz.  hahahaha puttanesca! kinilig ako! Sh3t! 

ang sarap lang gumising pag ganito nakabungad sayo. hay

*hush, hush*

Proud dada

Baguio City
November 19 to 20




A week into our monthsary, me and my baby decided to go uphill and spent the weekend at Baguio City.  I heard it was 13 degrees, and what better way to escape the heat of the metro  than bask in the cool air of the summer capital? :)


So after Friday night's gig at Bed, we took on the long journey ahead.  The drive provided venue for us to get to know each other better, and though I can manage to reach Baguio in 4 and a half hours, I decided not to.  We never ran out of things to talk about, from simple sights he saw (he would suddenly point at houses he liked which would divert my attention from the road! tsk tsk!) to memories I had over the places we passed by.  My baby was so excited about this trip and that served as my caffeine despite us not having slept from Friday's work, then dinner at Contis and gimmick at Malate.

Show me Baguio, baby ^_^

I prefer taking Kennon over Marcos when climbing up, and the sunny weather took away my anxieties in using that road.  Besides, the coveted Lion's head is a must for first timers like my baby.

Until now, I still don't know how to mask out face-pics on my Macky. hay

After about 6 hours, we reached Baguio and rolled down Blake's windows to breathe in the scenery :)  I booked our hotel where-else but only at Camp John Hay.  No other way to enjoy Baguio than to smell fresh pines! 

Ang sarap lang gumising to this view from our bedroom, hugging someone I love

I took him to places and we dine in restaurants that only Baguio can offer.

50s diner

50's Gangsta-gangsta.  Unbelievably plenty at Php130.  Sulit!

Packed Session road

I love this bulb fixture of Cafe Zola

Interiors of Cafe Zola

Gimik @ Nevada Square.  Baby peeing at someone's car. bad baby!

Wright Park, the Mansion and the pond (I think that's the name)

Mine's view while sipping strawberry taho :9

bought strawberry, ube jam, alfajor at Good Shepherd

All these within 2 days and one night stay :)  Quite a feat, I must say!  We just had to sleep 2hours on our first day and 4 the next day..


yet..

Seeing the joy on my baby's face… priceless :)


*hush, hush*

I Found Love

Cebu




Hope everyone had fun at the Black Parteee!! ^_^  


Well, I had my share of dance and rhythm at Doce. hehehe


Happy Hallow's Eve everyone!!! 



Love, love, and lots of love everyone! ^_^


*hush, hush*

Paparapapaaap

Mcdo
Alabang Town Center
6.50pm

So I see myself sipping a monster float while patiently waiting for Vince to finish his round of doctors for the day.  I wanted to catch up with him for this week as I am scheduled to fly to Cebu for the long weekend (darn, I'll miss the Black parteee! hmf) and the next time I'd get to see him would be the weekend after.  Haay.


Yes, hushkins, me and Vince hit it off.  I like him, he likes me, so we took it to another level.  We spent each day before I left for KL, and spent the entire weekend after that, doing nothing but cuddling at home.  hehe


He passed my trophy bf requirement, a lot has said he looks like Ecko Rosales, and his officemates now compare him to this Manuel Chua guy, who I honestly don't know.  Google would tell me that he does have similarities with the guy, but I like my Vince more. hahahahaha plus, plus he has a full set of hair :p hahahaha


What drew me to him was his simplicity.  We can dine just about anywhere, and if I am not the maarte kind, he wouldn't mind making pungko-pungko somewhere. He does not have any insecurities (for a 24 year old kid), no angst over past experiences (none of that sh3t!), values his job more than anything else, has a career path ahead, a sense of direction, yet he maintains his inner child (he still likes Mirmo, that anime character. hay).  Plus, plus, he cuddles me everytime we are inside Blake, in my place, he is full of lambing, which I really, really like.. and no, he does not take it in bad light if I reciprocate back.  


.. and here's the but.. but.. I am afraid as there could be proximity issues.  His job entails him to travel and meet up with doctors, and who knows, saang lupalop ko sya mahagilap next?  I value communication and physical contact, and though the former may be addressed, I am a bit concern of not seeing each other as frequent as I want them to be.  I don't know.  I am just taking things in strides now..


On a brighter spectrum, here I am, finding myself a couple of towns away from the metro.  Trying to make things work, and eagerly waiting for us to watch Praybet Benjamin. hahaha  hmf.


I never thought I'd fall in love in a club :p


*hush, hush*

Libog ko (in Bisaya please)

San Miguel Ave

09.10.11 

5am

We had just came from Chelu.  Our Aussie friend, Chantelle, was back for an engagement and we took her to Malate, gahd knows why we took her there.

I look over to the passenger seat.  He was tired from the night's party.

Hush: 'Chan, can you pass me the pillow please'

Chan was telling me that she had chocolates for me and we were on our way to drop her off to Oakwood.  I miss her, she is sooo bubbly and energetic, given this wee hour.

Hush: 'Un.lan oh, para di ka maglisud ug katog while we drop off Chantelle' (Un.lan is pillow)

We reached at a stoplight.  I stole glances again at him.  He was telling me earlier that he really liked the chocolate cookies I bought for him in Cebu.  At the back of my mind, I was telling myself, he should like those.  They were expensive! hahaha  Don Mertos.

He cuddled the pillow and slept gently.  Gahd, I wish I were that pillow that time.

We had reached Oakwood already.  Chantelle bid farewell and he was all mine.  Again, I glanced at him.  He wore a yellow-striped polo that complemented him well, and I love how his glasses suit his face-frame.  He was like Harry Potter.  Trust me.

He gently opened his eyes.

R: 'Buntag na' (buntag = morning)

H: 'Yah.  Just sleep tight while I drive you home'

I switched my Nano and played High by the Speaks.

R: 'I like this song'

H: 'Yah, this is the only song that I am good at in karaoke hehe'

He smiled.  I melted.

We reached his place.

R: 'I had fun tonight, Hush'

He hugged me.  I planted a kiss on his cheeks.

H: 'Til next time'

I ensured he safely got inside his compound.

Then my Nano played this.  Haaaay!! Gugmang g.atay!

*hush hush*

Crazy STUPID Love (♥)

Shang Cineplex
08.20.11




After accompanying me at the Medical City for check-up, Rocio decided she won't push through with her part-time work for a common friend (given that the routine took us until 2 in the afternoon!! Sorry Sho).  I was being an ass of late, coz I wouldn't go to the clinic to have myself checked given my latest condition.  She insisted and I am grateful.  Frankly, it was depressing to think of going to the hospital to have those checks alone :(


I mentioned that Crazy, Stupid, Love was showing already.  I had planned to watch it with Mike (uyyyyy! nagpaparamdam ulit! hahahaha) but he had work tomorrow and might just dozed off.  That would be a boring date! hmf.


Sho was giddy and eager to watch it and we booked ourselves for the 3.50pm screening at the Shang.


Hay.  The movie was sooooo nice :)  It was a feel-good movie, and would be have been purrfect had I been with somebody to cuddle with. Darn. hehehe  It was worth the 2-hour play, and the twists of discovering that the thing you've been avoiding, of falling in love, and masking it with promiscuity will eventually slap you at your face!  Literally!  And to somebody you've been teaching to move on from the hurt caused by the downfall of a relationship.  Plus the light touch of comedy injected by Steve Carell was refreshing to an otherwise typical love story. :)


Darn.  As in all other movies, I get to relate it with my personal experiences.  Hehe  Lately, I've been tired of being nice, of being true, of showing good intentions when I date.  I find that it's tiring, and probably boring and without challenge to the other person, because I tell them (them talaga?? hahaha) that I like him (sige na nga, kasi di naman sabay-sabay!) and try to work things out.. and eventually, that became a recipe for disaster!  So I stopped, went to Malate and kiss boys.  No strings and feelings attached.  Period.  Even my status message at PR was mean! hahahaha and if somebody ugly messaged me, I told him to bug off!! hahahaha and they would say I was being snotty, and I get joy when I respond back, I know right?? hahahahaha

.. then this movie.  Tsk tsk!! hahahaha I realized, and cliche, cliche, that these pains serve as spice on why we love.  The 13-year old son of Steve Carell almost gave up on love, of finding his soulmate (gahd, the innocence of the boy is sooo real), that such love can never exist, given the recent break-up of his parents, who ironically met at the tender age of 17.  Hay. hay. hay.  Gugmang G.atay!! hahahaha


I realized, nah, I will continue to find that love :) Chos! hahaha  That love I deserve and I guess deserving of what I can offer also :)  Love should be happy and uncompromising, of meeting half-ways and agreements.  Should it fell short of expectations, then it was never meant to be and should be let go of.  These pains will eventually build stronger walls for me to lean back should I ever fall again :) weeeeeh! Inspired?? hahahahaha


And so I end on this note from the movie:


I shouldn't have jumped from the car, I should have fought for you.. Because I should have fought for my soulmate, or at least that's what my 13 yr old son told me


Ganda, ganda!! hehehe




PS - Uhm, O.bar muna ako mamaya. hehehe Kung saan, well :)


*hush, hush*

When I see your face (pick-up lines Chapter 8)

May 9, 2009
Bed. 1am.


"San ka banda?", I texted.


"Sa may stage, I'm with friends", he responded.


We were to met up that night.  After a month of being textmates, it was only then that I'd get to see him, as fate may have chanced upon us that night.


"Ok, puntahan kita dyan"


We became acquainted with each other via the defunct G4M.  Time would erase my memory on who messaged whom, but my initial reaction when I saw his face was, "sh#@t! sya ata yung naka sayaw ko last February nung may nag-pick.pocket sa cellphone ko".  Still, I entertained him, probably out of curiousity, plus he was gorgeous.  He later would boast that he looked like Will Devaughn hehe


When I saw him, I felt backing out.  He was surrounded by his friends (and he stood out from the pack) and I was intimidated.  I summoned my courage and said hi.  Aba! Nod lang ang napala ng beauty ko!! Dispirited, I went back to where I was stationed (near the aircon, matutunaw na kasi MAC ko, hehehe).


"Oh, san ka na?", he texted.


"I went back to my place.  Papalamig ako, masyado mainit dyan sa dancefloor"


Ok was his only response.  So I guess, he wasn't interested in me.  


2.30am


The crowd was already in celebratory mode when I chanced upon this guy in front of me.  He was swaying his hips in front of me, with blue frog taking it's toll on me, I began to respond.  He turned around and we continued to dance.


Ralf: 'Hi'


Hush: 'Hiya!' (masyado ata napalakas hehe)


R: 'You're cute'


H: 'I know' (sh#t! ang yabang ko! hehe I was frustrated and I welcomed any compliment)


R: 'You wanna go to my place?'


H: 'Where?'  His face was so near mine, I could smell the alcohol he drank.


R: 'Makati, kaw ba saan ka?'


H: 'Ortigas..'  


Ralf was about to kiss me when my peripheral vision caught someone staring at me.  It was he-who-ignored-me.


H: 'Sorry.. my boyfriend's back'  


I left Ralf, taken-aback by my sudden change of heart.  I hurriedly scurried towards him.


H: 'Hi Marxus.  Nice to see you here!' (was my lame greeting)


M: 'Oh bakit di mo tinuloy paghalik sa kanya?'


H: 'With whom?' (was my pathetic response)


M: (pinpointing) 'That guy in shock'


H: 'Oh. THAT guy. He's nothing. Care to have some blue frog?' (effort to have that puppy-eyed look)


M: 'Smart move.  Nag.aantay lang ako if hahalikan mo sya, then alis na ako'


H: 'Nah.  I would rather kiss you'


He let me kissed him that night.  That night I met my Honey.  Marxus.


I never knew that after 20 months, he would leave me for good.  We parted ways last November 8, but we remained good friends.  He remained my constant movie-buddy, we would argue which movie to watch, often, it was I who relented to his requests (coz mostly I want to watch the Tagalog flick hehehe he was traumatized with Kimmy Dora)..   I spent Christmas with him after that.  We went up to Baguio again this January.  He was supposed to be with me for the last Panagbenga, but he was already hospitalized. We were supposed to move-in together after my contract expires on April.. 


He often kidded, if he passed away, will I cry.. I would respond, no.. But events would cruelly twist to this day.. and my heart bleeds of his loss.. and I cry a thousand buckets that no amount of words could comfort..  I lost a partner today.




This is my ode to him.  Bubhye na please… ;(




Hushkins, please can you say a short prayer for his safe journey?  That would be very much appreciated..

Romeo's Planet

After so many months of abstinence, I visited G4M, or what is now known as Planet Romeo.  I could never get used to the name and I find G4M easier to pronounce than PR, but hey, that's not the point of my blog tonight.  When I re-activated my account, lo and behold who I saw.. Ex-honey.


I just couldn't describe how I felt about it, but it was weird, and because I couldn't get over it, I'm going to write and try to digest why I felt weird about it.


I first met Ex through this channel (and first seen him in Bed, but that's another story), and back then we had agreed that we deactivate our respective accounts because, and ideally, we had each other.  I've always believed that G4 is a hunting ground and I could attest that will always be the cause of quarrel between 2 persons who've decided to commit to each other.  I kept my end of the deal.


Curiosity got the better side of me and I should have listened to old lore that curiosity kills the cat, because came December of last year, when I opened my account, he was there.  His lame excuse then was he was seeking for clients for his photography work.  He retorted, why was I also online and responded to really check if he kept his other side of the bargain, which was rebutted to trust issues, etc etc.  We decided to settle amicably.


When the road became tough for us sometime May of this year (which happened to be our anniversary), and we were on that cool off stage, Ferns showed me something which will forever scar my broken heart.  Ex online @ PR.  Ferns said he had seen him online for some time now and that he just kept mum about it and thinking it was the demise of our relationship that time, it was better that he showed it to me, so I too can move on.  It was the most terrible thing I felt.  I never thought Ex could move on that fast and I felt betrayed.  That night, I cried myself to sleep.


and because I had wanted to save the relationship (sayang kasi, one year na), I lowered my pride and asked him if it was he that was online.  Of course, he denied it and that it was some poser of his.  I wondered aloud why a picture taken from my condominium was also posted on that account, which was very recent and he couldn't give any right justification.  Ex later turned his fury on Ferns, pakilamera, 'who's he to be saint when he also goes online in PR even if he has a bf' and all the nasty remarks he blasted on Ferns.  That wasn't the issue at all.  I couldn't care less what Ferns does with his life, but mine's should be attended to.  Up to this day, I understand why Ferns detaches himself from Ex, I couldn't blame him.


Now that murky waters have cleared, and nobody to account to (Ex should not deny that it was him this time around, as he posted a new pic with his newly bought diamond necklace), I'm not sure if PR would be the right venue to start building my life.  Maybe a good hunting ground, but this time, I'll be more cautious.


Hush hush for now.

How I spent Ex-Honey's birthday

November 20, 2010.


I still miss him.. I guess.


It's HIS birthday and when the clock struck 12mn, I had my message ready to send already.


'Happy Birthday!! :) may you have all the blessings this world has to give and I wish you all the happiness your heart desires :) take care always'


Effort. hahaha


His reply was:


'thnx. bday gift ko? ;p'


To which I countered:


'Materialistic ka. tsk tsk'


'Sige badtripin mo bday ko!'


Hay.  Can't he distinguish that it was a joke?  Half-meant anyway.  But I really didn't have a gift for ex and for the first time in weeks (when I was thoroughly considering what to give him), I realized, I couldn't care if I had one.


'Punta ka seaside dampa ha maya' he texted.


We had plans that day.  We were to view a condominium for sale in Mandaluyong and decide if we could share ownership.  The unit was nice, loft-type and the amortization bearable if divided between us, but I had that nagging feeling that doing a partnership with an ex is not worth investing in, emotionally.  What if I had someone over, wouldn't that be awkward that ex is around, or worse, what if he had someone around?  Besides, the not-so-good traits about ex would surface, the 'screams' when he would not have his ways, the stubborness.. gack! the idea was horrific!


'Who would occupy the master's bedroom, with the cr on the second level?' I asked.


'hmmm.. I would.. please' putting on that puppy-eye look that I fell for.  Why did I bother asking? hay.


'Then that would complicate things.. maybe its not wise to invest now.. maybe you should save first and buy a prime condominium instead', I suggested.


He pouted.  I tried to ignore him.


We went to Quiapo after, I had promised my brother that I'd light a candle for him to guide him in his licensure examination.  I had no intention to bring Blake to that place, but I was feeling weary to commute that day (I had barely 5 hours of sleep as I left the office at 2am Saturday), so I decided to bring him along and ex mentioned that we'll just park at Isetann to be safe.


'Do you know the way to Quiapo?  I only know how to go til St Jude, if we use Shaw', I asked.


'Let's just use Taft then cross Jones Bridge, I think'


'You sure?'  Ex had the penchant to be sure of things, but end up doubting.


'Wag mo lang ako sisigawan ha, remember whose day it is today' he retorted.  I mean, who wouldn't get frustrated when you relay on someone for directions but can't be relied?  Aber! 


Somewhere along Taft, he said he'll just take a nap, which raised the temperature in me despite the full-blast aircon.  I controlled myself.  Temper, temper. hay.  I glanced over at him, with his Versace shades on.  He does look good at his age.  He gained back his old weight, after losing it some time ago.  I'm beginning to miss his company, the talks we had inside Blake.. =( hay.


We didn't get lost, thank heavens, but Quiapo.. well, Quiapo is Quiapo.  Crowded.  Isetann's parking entrance was very inclined and the passage way very very narrow.  Ex wondered whether the developer of both Shangri-la Mall and Isetann were the same.. hmmm.. it did looked similar.


We were greeted by loud screams when we entered Isetann, but it wasn't directed at us. hehehe  Apparently, Coco Martin (the Coco Martin), was around and ex hurried to catch a glimpse of him.  Ayyy… sumama sa kacheapan! hehe  though I was straining myself not to go over the balcony to have a peek at him myself! hahahahaha hirap magkunyari! hahahaha


Every so often, ex would stop to look around and tinker with the merchandise on the way to Quiapo church.  I had to constantly remind him, Church muna tayo ha bago tayo tingin ng goods ha.  He always gets excited when he finds something that interests him, and later despises it because of so and so defects he notices.  I recalled one time we went to SM Home World and because he couldn't keep his hands still, he broke a piece of decor, which nobody saw except me.  He looked ghastly that time and I pretended to be oblivious of what happened and stuck around, pretending to examine another decoration.  


'Baby, nabasag ko yung isang decor, alis na tayo please'


'Alam ko kaya nga ayoko umalis eh hahahaha'


The look on his face was priceless. hehehe and still he keeps on touching things.


Back to Quiapo.  The Church had that serene effect on me, partly because of the worshippers.  It's the same feeling I get when I visit Sto. Nino in Cebu, but of course, I'm biased with the latter.  I couldn't find where you can lit the candles and pray over them, and the guard told us that its sold outside.


I approached one vendor, and I noticed that she had signs written over her candles.  Red for the Nazareno, green for money, peach for studies/examination etc etc.  I decided to buy the peach candles.


'Wag ka bumili rito, di yan Catholic'


'Eh san ako bibili?  I don't see any candle-lit place inside the church'


'Basta wag ka bibili'


'Hay naku! Magpahula ka narin dyan!! Di ka nakikinig' was his angry protest when I bought the candles still.


'Do you have to raise your voice over me?'


'Eh kasi di ka nakikinig!'


'Eh san ako bibili ng candles eh sabi nga nasa labas, gago!' I was beginning to heat up again.


'Gago ka dyan, araw na araw ko ginagago mo ako!' was his angry outburst.


Hay.  Does it always have to end in an argument?  I pacified myself and ate my pride.


'Wag ka na magalit, magkaka.wrinkles ka nyan!  Punta na tayo Isetann ulit' was my attempt at humor.


Isetann.


We were both hungry from walking.  I was craving for KFC and suggested that we eat there (because I was afraid to try other restaurants there, seriously).  He noticed some restaurant beside KFC (I forgot the name, trust me its forgettable!).


'Dito na tayo eat'


''Ayoko dyan, parang di masarap'


'Hmmm.. anong araw ba ngayon?'


I was about to blurt, Saturday, but I realized that wouldn't be a good reply.  I just shut myself and be the obedient guy that I have always been to him.  hay.


Well, it turned out to be a bad decision.  The food was not good and their turon was horribly dry.  I won't set foot in that restaurant ever!  


Ex said that his friend, Ian, couldn't make it to dinner.


'Sinu-sino ba ininvite mo?'', I asked.


'kaw, si JM at Ian lang'.


I had the hunch that JM wouldn't be able to make it also. 


'Pamasahe na nga lang tayo', Ex said.


We had foot spa first.  Ex wanted a guy masseur when he caught glimpse of a guy employee there.  This is still inside Isetann (bongga!  Isetann beauty ko the whole day! hmf!).  I didn't make a big deal of it.  When the guy masseur came, he went straight to me, instead of ex, and I saw at the corner of my eye, his indignant face.  I laughed and told the guy that ex preferred him as his masseur and that I'll settle for the lady therapist.  The guy had a cute body, but not my type.  Masyadong mukhang top. hehehe


Ex wasn't content with the foot spa, he wanted to have a body massage with the therapist.  I just shrugged and said, ok, I'll just sleep while I wait for you.  I wanted to rest because I only had 5 hours of sleep and Che.lu beckoned that night. hehehe


'So how was it?', I asked.


'Magaling sya magmasahe'


'Mukha nga.  By the looks of it, mukha nga mapupudpud na paa mo'


'Nag.aral daw sya'


'So did anything happen during the massage?'  I can't believe I was actually comfortable having this kind of talk with him.


'Wala nga eh.  Nahimas ko lang yung sa kanya, pero yun lang.  Pero maliit na tao sya'


I laughed.


'Nagtext si JM.  Di daw sya makaabot sa dinner at 1130pm pa kami kita'


I was right.


'May ka sex guro yun, as usual', I suggested.


You see, that I couldn't understand.  If a friend, a close friend for that matter, is celebrating his birthday, wouldn't you drop whatever you're doing to cheer him on his big day?  I would do that.


'Sa Malate ko nalang sila i.treat', ex said.


'Wow, bait mo sa mga friends na yun noh?  Pero bf mo dati, inaaway mo'  I couldn't help myself.  He grew silent.  I guess I made my point.


We ended up having dinner at Huey Ying in seaside to ourselves.  I had fun, honestly to share his big day with him.. I was kind of sympathetic towards him also, despite his effort to put aside the idea that his 2 closest friends that day, weren't there to celebrate it with him.  It was also kind of sad for me.  I wanted to reach out to him and hug him passionately, but I withheld myself.  It was not the time to be sentimental about it.  That kind of love borders on pity and I don't dig that.


'Do you miss me, Ex?'


He didn't reply for a minute.


'Di ko na inisip yan kasi nagtataxi na ako ngayon'


Ouch.  I guess that pretty sums up everything.


Hush hush for now.**

If you could read my mind

If only music could describe how one feels, this will be it for me 



♪ If you could read my mind love
  What a tale my thoughts would tell ♫
    Just like a paperback novel  ♪
  The kind that drugstores sell
  ♪ When you reach the part where the heartache comes ♫
       The hero would be you ♪
   Heroes often fail ♫


  Never thought I could feel this way ♫
 ♪  And I've got to say that I just don't get it
I don't know where we went wrong  ♫
     But the feeling's gone and I just can't get it back ♫




hush hush, hushkins