Forgiveness (Pick-up lines Chapter 4)

Starbucks Makati.  Around September 2010.

'Hot coffee mocha please.  Grande, to go', I ordered.

'One grande hot coffee mocha to go for Hush', Ice the barista called out to the coffee operator, or whatever they call it.

'One grande hot coffee mocha to go for Hush', echoed another barista.

I glanced up.  His gaze met mine.  Gosh, he had the most gorgeous eyes I had ever seen.  If eyes could twinkle, his was.  He was bronze (or moreno sige na nga), not normally my type, but I was fascinated with him.  Marco (my officemate) later described him as a Jacob "twilight' look-alike (including the nose hehehe).

'Who's he?' I asked Ice since she knew me.

'Marky. Uuuuuyyy, type mo sya noh?', she teased me.  

'hahaha yah, can I get his number?', I chided.

'Tanungin mo, talo kayo teh'

'Heh!'

I got my coffee, smiled at Marky and left.

A month after.

'Hi Hush, tagal mo na di nakapasyal rito ah', was the warm greet by Ice.

'Ya, busy with work'  I glanced around.  'San na si Marky?'

'Ahh, pang-umaga sya ngayon but mag.re.resign na sya'

My heart sank.  Shucks, I wasn't able to get his number at mag.reresign na sya?? 

'So kelan sya magreresign?' I casually asked.

'Last week na nya next week'  I jot that down in my head.

The week after.  November 2010.

'Ferns, samahan mo ko coffee, dyan lang sa harap ng office'

'hmmm, may pinagtripan ka noh?', was his reply.

'Wala poh', was my innocent response.

I was beginning to be infatuated with the guy.  Naging stalker ako! hahahaha When I saw him again, he literally lit up the place. hehehe  He was on break that time and I asked Ice to introduce me to him.

'Hi', Marky said.

'Hi, I'm Hush :)' (syempre la yung smiley face sa sinabi ko :)), matagal ka na ba rito?'

'di naman, kaka 1 month palang, pero mag-reresign na ako', he smiled.

'ahhh, kalungkot naman. bakit?'

'la lang, I'm juggling 2 jobs now'

'ahh.. hmmm.. you want sama ka sa gimik namin ni Ferns? Mahilig ka ba mag Malate?'

'yup. went there last Black party'

'sige, bigay mo number mo, text kita', was my pick-up line :p

Needless to say, he became my constant textmate and he hang out at my place.  I couldn't sleep the first time he crash over as I was literally staring at him go to sleep, plus he was a Titanic.  I kidded him when he woke up,

'di ata lumuwas ang barko kagabi, panay buga ng makina!'

'har har, gusto mo higupin kita sa ilong ko', gazing at me with his twinkling eyes.

I was mesmerized.  Puttanesca, in love ata ako.


November 29.  Holiday.


'San ka?', Marky texted.


'Dito office, trabaho ng maigi para sa future asawa ko ;)', was my mischievous response.


'Puntahan kita dyan'


'Talaga? What time?' puttanesca, kinilig ako.


'Mga 10pm'


'Cge'


We ended up at Starbucks, since it was the only place open that day.  We had the usual pa-cute conversations and the usual jokes we lash out at each other.  But the moment was cut short because of my big mouth.


'Alis na ako Hush, kelangan ko na pasok eh. May training pa ako'


'Bilis naman..'


'Oo, trainee pa kasi ako, kaya kelangan pa good impression'


'Hmf, nagpalibre ka lang ata ng Starbucks', I realized too late that it was not a good joke.  He took it hard.


'Hoy, magkano ba yang kapi na yan, eto pera'


Jokes are half-meant, I know, but I didn't take it that he was that affected. hehe  He still offered me his goodnight kiss that night and I had apologized sincerely after but I didn't realize, kinikimkim pala nya.  He went AWOL in his texts for the next 4 days and I miscalled and texted him within those 4 days (pathetic, I know - kaya nga hirap maglove di ba), extending yet again my apologies for that reckless remark.


Then he texted Sunday.


'Sorry for the late response Hush.  Don't waste your time on me, sorry to say that'


I carefully calculated my response.


'Ok. If that's what you want..'


'Kasi, masyado ako na affected doon sa sinabi mo.  It was a bad joke'


'I know and I regretted that.  For the past 4 days that you ignored me, I lowered my pride to cajole you back.  I'm only human, Marky, and I hope you'll realize I have good intentions for you.'


There were still messages thrown at each other after, but it only concluded the same.  I have regretted throwing that punchline, and believe me I learned my lesson.. hard.  But I also realized, was it so grave that it deserved no second chance?  Then maybe he's not worth the love I could give, so how much more if I offended him when we will be in a relationship?  Nag.sorry na nga yung tao, lalagyan mo pa ng asin yung sugat?


The rants continue and I guess blogging about it helps to minimize the guilt and pain. Drama. hay.


It's a sad story, hushkins, and I realized, tao din pala ako.  Kala ko kasi Dyosa ako. hehehe

Mandated Leave

Today officially marks the start of my mandatory leave.  A whole week away from the office, and no planned agenda whatsoever.  Hmf.


Every year, our bank requires us to take on mandatory leaves for control procedures to take place, e.g. continuity of business without your presence ("?"), checking whether you had retrieved restricted accesses, e.g. proxy sites for facebook, or installation of games which can cause viruses to the system, etc etc.  But now that the bank has 'gratuitously' provided me a laptop this year (just when I bought baby Mac hay), I don't know how controls department would check my accesses when I brought the laptop with me.. tsk tsk.


I took mine last year around Christmas, where I went on a 2week hiatus to Cebu, but now, I am forced to take my leaves this week as my presence is required during the holidays due to some important project.  I had little time to plan and now the moment has arrived and I still haven't got the vaguest clue yet.  Well, it would be like opening a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you'll get (yah yah, this line is taken from Forrest Gump).


Two things are for sure though, I'll have spare time to update this blog and go to the gym every day! hehehe I plan to surprise everyone when I get back! hahahaha :) fingers crossed.


Hush hush for now.

Cedie

I was checking my FB account and I noticed that a lot of my friends have changed their profile pics to a cartoon character of way past.  It is supposedly to stop abuse of children, per one shout-out.  For the heck of it, I joined in.  I thought a He-Man picture would best describe my childhood past-time, but I later realized, pa-mhen effect ko lang pala! hahahaha  I recalled I did love watching the Cedie series aired via ABS-CBN that time, 10am slot. hehehe


I scrolled down to my friends' images, I noted Jon had carebears on, hello kitty here, tazmanian devil there, other anime characters I don't recognize (you sure that was your childhood cartoon character? parang lately lang yan ah!) and of course, my good friend Rori had his sailormoon picture on! hahahhahaha As expected!


I chatted with Jon and we recalled the good times we had during our younger years :)  He mentioned, owz, buti sayo Hush, at least pang-genie ('that was our term for gays then') ang profile pic mo, yung iba nagpost ba naman ng He-Man eh alam naman natin ang hilig nya eh She-Ra!


hahahaha :)


Well, for what's it worth, I hope this awareness program works..


Good memories hushkins :)

Sabado Nights

For the past 2 Saturday nights, I hang out at Che.lu (mag-thank you ka Jeff! hehehe) and the past 2 Sabado nights, matumal ang benta ng lola nyo. hahahahaha  Tuloy, I can't find any inspiration to blog about my pick-up line series. tsk tsk 


I'm beginning to doubt my prowess.  Am I getting too old for pick-up lines?  Does the crease-line show on my forehead? (wala naman ah)  Am I getting too familiar with the crowd? (yikes!)  Do I look pok-pok already?? (double yikes!!)


For tonight, I plan to shine and raise the phoenix (wag na muna dyosa baka masilaw lahat! hahahaha) in me! For tonight, I'll party til I dance weary!  Tonight, I'll drown my worries away with booze.  Tonight.. I hope my broken heart mends..


"If you stay for a while
Let me hold you tonight
Just open your eyes you will see the light

But stay for a while
Let me hold you tonight
Just open your eyes you will see the light shine 

You don't have to be frozen
You don't have to be broken tonight"
- Armin Van Buuren

To Pass or not to Pass

Bro texted me Tuesday.


'Good evening kuy.. ala man ghapon ku kapasar… :-('


My heart sank.


He had requested me to go to Quiapo to pray for his licensure examination, which I willingly obliged.  I had literally called the heavens for help..


I immediately called to console him.


'ok ra na bro. if dili meant sa imo ang licensya, then di meant..'


'mao lagi.. apply nalang ko nindot ug daku mo.sweldo na companya'


'pagcall center nalang bro. daku pa sya sweldo' (well, that's what I heard and they say it's easy to apply in one)


'mao pud ako huna-huna.. tabangi ko himo ug resume kuy ha'


'sure ba. basta kaw bro'


I don't know where he got it wrong. Last day of examination, I called to check up on him how it was, and he heaved that it was difficult.  I nonchalantly waved the idea, but now that results are in, reality smacks in the face.  My bro was a performer in school before, until around high school.  His academics went south but he excelled in basketball though, but I doubt if basketball would help him in the future.  His degree was decided by my father, which I naturally opposed because it was not my brother's will, but unlike me, my brother is the obedient type, no frills type.  I would say his tertiary studies was a rough road (and I guess, partly I kept egging him why he took such course),  and I wasn't surprise when he didn't pass on the first take.  His heart wasn't in on it.


But times have changed, and so have hearts.  This time, he wanted to pass, I can feel it and this time, I supported him, fully and even financially (no yabang intended here).  But I guess the Fates didn't will it this time.. maybe someday, but now, my bro will have to step forward his best shoes in this brutal jungle we all live in, without the necassary battle gear.  Who knows, he'll survive with just a knife in hand.. and my armalites behind :)


Hush hush for now.

How I spent Ex-Honey's birthday

November 20, 2010.


I still miss him.. I guess.


It's HIS birthday and when the clock struck 12mn, I had my message ready to send already.


'Happy Birthday!! :) may you have all the blessings this world has to give and I wish you all the happiness your heart desires :) take care always'


Effort. hahaha


His reply was:


'thnx. bday gift ko? ;p'


To which I countered:


'Materialistic ka. tsk tsk'


'Sige badtripin mo bday ko!'


Hay.  Can't he distinguish that it was a joke?  Half-meant anyway.  But I really didn't have a gift for ex and for the first time in weeks (when I was thoroughly considering what to give him), I realized, I couldn't care if I had one.


'Punta ka seaside dampa ha maya' he texted.


We had plans that day.  We were to view a condominium for sale in Mandaluyong and decide if we could share ownership.  The unit was nice, loft-type and the amortization bearable if divided between us, but I had that nagging feeling that doing a partnership with an ex is not worth investing in, emotionally.  What if I had someone over, wouldn't that be awkward that ex is around, or worse, what if he had someone around?  Besides, the not-so-good traits about ex would surface, the 'screams' when he would not have his ways, the stubborness.. gack! the idea was horrific!


'Who would occupy the master's bedroom, with the cr on the second level?' I asked.


'hmmm.. I would.. please' putting on that puppy-eye look that I fell for.  Why did I bother asking? hay.


'Then that would complicate things.. maybe its not wise to invest now.. maybe you should save first and buy a prime condominium instead', I suggested.


He pouted.  I tried to ignore him.


We went to Quiapo after, I had promised my brother that I'd light a candle for him to guide him in his licensure examination.  I had no intention to bring Blake to that place, but I was feeling weary to commute that day (I had barely 5 hours of sleep as I left the office at 2am Saturday), so I decided to bring him along and ex mentioned that we'll just park at Isetann to be safe.


'Do you know the way to Quiapo?  I only know how to go til St Jude, if we use Shaw', I asked.


'Let's just use Taft then cross Jones Bridge, I think'


'You sure?'  Ex had the penchant to be sure of things, but end up doubting.


'Wag mo lang ako sisigawan ha, remember whose day it is today' he retorted.  I mean, who wouldn't get frustrated when you relay on someone for directions but can't be relied?  Aber! 


Somewhere along Taft, he said he'll just take a nap, which raised the temperature in me despite the full-blast aircon.  I controlled myself.  Temper, temper. hay.  I glanced over at him, with his Versace shades on.  He does look good at his age.  He gained back his old weight, after losing it some time ago.  I'm beginning to miss his company, the talks we had inside Blake.. =( hay.


We didn't get lost, thank heavens, but Quiapo.. well, Quiapo is Quiapo.  Crowded.  Isetann's parking entrance was very inclined and the passage way very very narrow.  Ex wondered whether the developer of both Shangri-la Mall and Isetann were the same.. hmmm.. it did looked similar.


We were greeted by loud screams when we entered Isetann, but it wasn't directed at us. hehehe  Apparently, Coco Martin (the Coco Martin), was around and ex hurried to catch a glimpse of him.  Ayyy… sumama sa kacheapan! hehe  though I was straining myself not to go over the balcony to have a peek at him myself! hahahahaha hirap magkunyari! hahahaha


Every so often, ex would stop to look around and tinker with the merchandise on the way to Quiapo church.  I had to constantly remind him, Church muna tayo ha bago tayo tingin ng goods ha.  He always gets excited when he finds something that interests him, and later despises it because of so and so defects he notices.  I recalled one time we went to SM Home World and because he couldn't keep his hands still, he broke a piece of decor, which nobody saw except me.  He looked ghastly that time and I pretended to be oblivious of what happened and stuck around, pretending to examine another decoration.  


'Baby, nabasag ko yung isang decor, alis na tayo please'


'Alam ko kaya nga ayoko umalis eh hahahaha'


The look on his face was priceless. hehehe and still he keeps on touching things.


Back to Quiapo.  The Church had that serene effect on me, partly because of the worshippers.  It's the same feeling I get when I visit Sto. Nino in Cebu, but of course, I'm biased with the latter.  I couldn't find where you can lit the candles and pray over them, and the guard told us that its sold outside.


I approached one vendor, and I noticed that she had signs written over her candles.  Red for the Nazareno, green for money, peach for studies/examination etc etc.  I decided to buy the peach candles.


'Wag ka bumili rito, di yan Catholic'


'Eh san ako bibili?  I don't see any candle-lit place inside the church'


'Basta wag ka bibili'


'Hay naku! Magpahula ka narin dyan!! Di ka nakikinig' was his angry protest when I bought the candles still.


'Do you have to raise your voice over me?'


'Eh kasi di ka nakikinig!'


'Eh san ako bibili ng candles eh sabi nga nasa labas, gago!' I was beginning to heat up again.


'Gago ka dyan, araw na araw ko ginagago mo ako!' was his angry outburst.


Hay.  Does it always have to end in an argument?  I pacified myself and ate my pride.


'Wag ka na magalit, magkaka.wrinkles ka nyan!  Punta na tayo Isetann ulit' was my attempt at humor.


Isetann.


We were both hungry from walking.  I was craving for KFC and suggested that we eat there (because I was afraid to try other restaurants there, seriously).  He noticed some restaurant beside KFC (I forgot the name, trust me its forgettable!).


'Dito na tayo eat'


''Ayoko dyan, parang di masarap'


'Hmmm.. anong araw ba ngayon?'


I was about to blurt, Saturday, but I realized that wouldn't be a good reply.  I just shut myself and be the obedient guy that I have always been to him.  hay.


Well, it turned out to be a bad decision.  The food was not good and their turon was horribly dry.  I won't set foot in that restaurant ever!  


Ex said that his friend, Ian, couldn't make it to dinner.


'Sinu-sino ba ininvite mo?'', I asked.


'kaw, si JM at Ian lang'.


I had the hunch that JM wouldn't be able to make it also. 


'Pamasahe na nga lang tayo', Ex said.


We had foot spa first.  Ex wanted a guy masseur when he caught glimpse of a guy employee there.  This is still inside Isetann (bongga!  Isetann beauty ko the whole day! hmf!).  I didn't make a big deal of it.  When the guy masseur came, he went straight to me, instead of ex, and I saw at the corner of my eye, his indignant face.  I laughed and told the guy that ex preferred him as his masseur and that I'll settle for the lady therapist.  The guy had a cute body, but not my type.  Masyadong mukhang top. hehehe


Ex wasn't content with the foot spa, he wanted to have a body massage with the therapist.  I just shrugged and said, ok, I'll just sleep while I wait for you.  I wanted to rest because I only had 5 hours of sleep and Che.lu beckoned that night. hehehe


'So how was it?', I asked.


'Magaling sya magmasahe'


'Mukha nga.  By the looks of it, mukha nga mapupudpud na paa mo'


'Nag.aral daw sya'


'So did anything happen during the massage?'  I can't believe I was actually comfortable having this kind of talk with him.


'Wala nga eh.  Nahimas ko lang yung sa kanya, pero yun lang.  Pero maliit na tao sya'


I laughed.


'Nagtext si JM.  Di daw sya makaabot sa dinner at 1130pm pa kami kita'


I was right.


'May ka sex guro yun, as usual', I suggested.


You see, that I couldn't understand.  If a friend, a close friend for that matter, is celebrating his birthday, wouldn't you drop whatever you're doing to cheer him on his big day?  I would do that.


'Sa Malate ko nalang sila i.treat', ex said.


'Wow, bait mo sa mga friends na yun noh?  Pero bf mo dati, inaaway mo'  I couldn't help myself.  He grew silent.  I guess I made my point.


We ended up having dinner at Huey Ying in seaside to ourselves.  I had fun, honestly to share his big day with him.. I was kind of sympathetic towards him also, despite his effort to put aside the idea that his 2 closest friends that day, weren't there to celebrate it with him.  It was also kind of sad for me.  I wanted to reach out to him and hug him passionately, but I withheld myself.  It was not the time to be sentimental about it.  That kind of love borders on pity and I don't dig that.


'Do you miss me, Ex?'


He didn't reply for a minute.


'Di ko na inisip yan kasi nagtataxi na ako ngayon'


Ouch.  I guess that pretty sums up everything.


Hush hush for now.**

The Lost Hero

I first got addicted to Rick Riordan's books via the Percy Jackson series, more on after I saw the movie.  I found the lead cast who played the role cute (!), a motivating factor for me to watch the movie, and it didn't fail to entertain me :)  I now have all the 5 Percy Jackson books and I highly recommend em :)


Last October 28, I saw at Rockwell's Fully booked that Rick has released a new one, titled 'The Lost Hero'.  I was curious and read the appetizer at the back and noted that the book intertwined the characters in the Percy Jackson series with that of the new characters here.  It was like the Hardy boys meet Nancy Drew type of books that I sooo adore! hehehehhe


I was fascinated and immediately purchased it (plus Fully Booked plastic-covers the book for you for free hehehe).  I was transported back to a place of demi-gods, gods and goddesses, both of Greek and Roman style (*hint hint!*), the battles they fought and, naturally, won and the twists and plots that never failed to amaze me. :)  The book also has an index to it describing the gods and goddesses, and their respective Greek  and Roman name (e.g. Aphrodite and Venus etc etc) and after 21 days (hey!  I'm not a slow reader, I just wanted to savor the adventures in the book hmf!), I finally finished the book :)


I highly recommend the book and I can't wait for book 2, per advertisement, the release of which will be Fall of 2011. hmf! ang tagal!


Wow, after all these years, I am still a book geek. hehehehe