Boozer. Our pup here in Cebu.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
My Mama
08.03.11
3.13PM
Cebu
No one can argue that I am, and will always be a Mama's Boy.
A week ago, and around this time, I received a frantic call from my mama's assistant at the hospital.
'Dong, uli dong. Nag seizure imo mama'
I immediately called my bro to drop everything he was doing and proceed to Chong Hua. A doktora friend called me up to immediately book a flight to Cebu because mama didn't look good. I asked what happened. The operation seemed to be ok and she was about to be discharged that day. It seems that the doctors did not have a clue why she is having a seizure and they were doing everything they can to help my mama..
I hurriedly booked a flight to Cebu for the following day, 4.30am, Cebu Pacific.
4pm passed. 5pm passed til 6pm. I was attending a meeting but my mind was elsewhere. I received a missed call from my bro and made a returned call, but he didn't take it. I was worried, very worried. My mama was having difficulties and I was no where in sight to comfort and ease her pain..
7pm. I received a text message from my bro. My mama was undergoing cardiac arrest. I cried.
I couldn't bear the idea of losing my mama. She is the only reason why I go back to Cebu. She is the only reason why I strive hard to achieve whatever it is that I have accomplished. I wanted my mama to be proud of me.
My doctor-cousin called me. It seems that my mama was no longer responsive to the dosage that they were injecting her. I asked if she was still breathing, she was but it will take a miracle for her to recover. My tears kept flowing. My world fell apart when he said that.
I hurriedly drove (with Fernan accompanying me, which I am grateful for) to find some church, any church so I could pray. Every church we went (Don Bosco, and the one in Pasay) were closed. I was losing hope. Then Ferns suggested Baclaran. Yes. It was Wednesday, and Baclaran would be open til the wee hours of the morning. I held on to the tiny glimmer of hope.
On the way, I requested my bro to have her mobile to her ears so I could talk with her. I could only hear breathing from the respirator. Please hold on mama. Uli nako ugma, huwata nalang ko kay I want to hug you and comfort you that everything will be ok and that I am there already. I love my mama so much..
In Baclaran, I prayed to all the angels and saints who would hear me. I cried and didn't care if people would stare at me. I just want my mama to live. I was already desperate.
But my prayers were not heeded.
I received a text message from a cousin. Condolence.
My world shattered and I broke down at my place. Alone.
She died 9.18pm. No one dared told me. My bro hesitated and told me around 12mn. People were already calling me but I didn't answer. How can I? When the only person that I love and unconditionally loved me in return was gone? It broke my heart.
My ambition drove me to Manila and it is that ambition that I now loathe.
I was not there when my mama passed away. I was in some stupid place, living an independent life. But in truth, I am still dependent on my mama. She was my everything.
Everything is surreal here in Cebu. The empty house. I was half expecting my mama to appear out of thin air, smile and comfortingly ask unsa ako sud.an nahan kan.on? I would then eagerly request her to cook for me my favorite, linat.an na baboy, ma..
..
My aunties, my cousins, my friends, my mom's officemates keep telling me everything will be alright. They expect me to be strong.. but I can't. I have lost my pillar of strength for me to thrive on.
I am lost.
3.13PM
Cebu
No one can argue that I am, and will always be a Mama's Boy.
A week ago, and around this time, I received a frantic call from my mama's assistant at the hospital.
'Dong, uli dong. Nag seizure imo mama'
I immediately called my bro to drop everything he was doing and proceed to Chong Hua. A doktora friend called me up to immediately book a flight to Cebu because mama didn't look good. I asked what happened. The operation seemed to be ok and she was about to be discharged that day. It seems that the doctors did not have a clue why she is having a seizure and they were doing everything they can to help my mama..
I hurriedly booked a flight to Cebu for the following day, 4.30am, Cebu Pacific.
4pm passed. 5pm passed til 6pm. I was attending a meeting but my mind was elsewhere. I received a missed call from my bro and made a returned call, but he didn't take it. I was worried, very worried. My mama was having difficulties and I was no where in sight to comfort and ease her pain..
7pm. I received a text message from my bro. My mama was undergoing cardiac arrest. I cried.
I couldn't bear the idea of losing my mama. She is the only reason why I go back to Cebu. She is the only reason why I strive hard to achieve whatever it is that I have accomplished. I wanted my mama to be proud of me.
My doctor-cousin called me. It seems that my mama was no longer responsive to the dosage that they were injecting her. I asked if she was still breathing, she was but it will take a miracle for her to recover. My tears kept flowing. My world fell apart when he said that.
I hurriedly drove (with Fernan accompanying me, which I am grateful for) to find some church, any church so I could pray. Every church we went (Don Bosco, and the one in Pasay) were closed. I was losing hope. Then Ferns suggested Baclaran. Yes. It was Wednesday, and Baclaran would be open til the wee hours of the morning. I held on to the tiny glimmer of hope.
On the way, I requested my bro to have her mobile to her ears so I could talk with her. I could only hear breathing from the respirator. Please hold on mama. Uli nako ugma, huwata nalang ko kay I want to hug you and comfort you that everything will be ok and that I am there already. I love my mama so much..
In Baclaran, I prayed to all the angels and saints who would hear me. I cried and didn't care if people would stare at me. I just want my mama to live. I was already desperate.
But my prayers were not heeded.
I received a text message from a cousin. Condolence.
My world shattered and I broke down at my place. Alone.
She died 9.18pm. No one dared told me. My bro hesitated and told me around 12mn. People were already calling me but I didn't answer. How can I? When the only person that I love and unconditionally loved me in return was gone? It broke my heart.
My ambition drove me to Manila and it is that ambition that I now loathe.
I was not there when my mama passed away. I was in some stupid place, living an independent life. But in truth, I am still dependent on my mama. She was my everything.
Everything is surreal here in Cebu. The empty house. I was half expecting my mama to appear out of thin air, smile and comfortingly ask unsa ako sud.an nahan kan.on? I would then eagerly request her to cook for me my favorite, linat.an na baboy, ma..
..
My aunties, my cousins, my friends, my mom's officemates keep telling me everything will be alright. They expect me to be strong.. but I can't. I have lost my pillar of strength for me to thrive on.
I am lost.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Rori's Little Corner
Ang kyuuuuut! hahahahaha
I always look forward to the animation created by my good buddy, Rori. hehehe It serves as a breather after a hectic day at the office ^_^
I had wanted him to create a character dancing under a disco ball, but he refused. Hmf. He said, it's his little corner to be creative! Joint effort toh?? hahahaha
Hay, this will do :p hahaha
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Night of Recycles (Pick-up Lines Chapter 14)
July 23.
'Ate, malate tayo', I texted Carlo.
Carlo and I had a drift recently, when I ditched him over Les, plus he accused me of blabbering details of his s3x life to his sibling. I swear, I had no malice intended!! :( So, I was half-expecting him not to reply to my message.
Beep. beep. Nag.respond :)
'Sige. Sunduin mo ko dito sa apartment'
Ahh.. All is forgiven naman pala for the greater glory of Malate. hahahaha
'Sama ko isang friend ko if ok lang ha'
He knows that I don't just let anybody inside Blake. Kaartehan lang.
'Sige, but ensure that I pick both of you up at your place at hinde kung saan-saan pa sya pasundo'
'Okies.'
Outside O-bar. 12.45am.
'Hush, Hush!'
I turned to look at who was calling me. Carlo nudged me and pointed to O-bar. Hay. Sabi ko na nga ba. Les.
'Oi Les, I thought you were in Boracay?'
'Just got back yesterday night. Meet my friend, blah-blah, he's also Bisaya'
He wasn't good-looking, so I didn't pay any attention. I just nodded. Yobong lang. hehe
'See you around', I said and proceeded inside Che.lu. I just want to drink and dance the night away :)
The place wasn't jammed so it was easy to breathe.
'Di pa kasi sweldo at katatapos lang ng white party', Carlo rationalized.
I checked out the guy he tagged along. Mike. hmmm… maputi, makinis, payat at bottomesang-bottomesa. hahahahahaha
'So where'd you pick-up that guy', I asked.
'Hush naman. Friend ko yan, tagal na. Tagal na rin kasi kami di nagkita'
I raised my brow. Yah, right.
'Uhm. Ok. I met him at McDonald's some time ago. Nakatitigan at yun, nauwi ako sa kanila, which is just a stone's throw away from my apartment'
Ay sh3t. Di na pwede tikman! hahahaahaha Kung kay Juan-kay Juan, kay-Pedro, kay-Pedro principle.
'But he has a boyfriend. Kaya bawal magtext sa kanya ng around 2pm to 7pm'
Hay. Talk about infidelity. What's new?
'Hush'
I turned around. Kris.
'Hey Kris, musta?'
'I texted you last Saturday. White party. You didn't come'
'Uhm, I was out of town', I lied.
We hugged and he said he'll go to his friends. I stared after him. Gahd, he's still cute, sporting that new haircut. Man, he's just too complicated, sala sa init, sala sa lamig.
'Hush, gwapo', Carlo interrupted my thoughts.
Again, I turn around. Parang gusto ko nang kumanta ng Total Eclipse of the Heart.
Marky.
'Oi, Hush. How are you? Kanina mo pa ba ako nakita? Kalalabas ko lang ng shift ko at dumiretso na rito'
Uhm. Assuming ka. Ano ako, stalker??
'I'm good. Ngayon lang kita nakita. You with your date?'
'No, I'm with friends. I miss you'
Hala.
'I miss you too', I reverberated his words. He hugged me tight. He gazed at me.
'You seem a lot healthier', he grinned.
Yeta ka.
I smiled mischievously. 'But I look more gwapo'.
'Hmmm… sige na nga', he laughed. Pasang.awa. Leche flan. hahahahahaahah
'Hush, he's my crush! You did him?', Carlo was whispering when Marky left.
'Uhm, yah. He was the barista across the office. Didn't worked out when I kidded about money matters'
Hay. I was expecting to meet new guys tonight!! Recycled pick-up lines na toh!!
.. and to top my quandary, Les came out of nowhere.
'There you are!' He smiled. He zoomed in for a kiss.
'hihi Yah, you found me..', I pouted. Gone was the guava-flavoured kiss I anticipated.
'I see you've been rounding the bars', I said upon seeing the black badge on his wrist.
'Oh this. I was accompanying my friend.. you saw him earlier, he is Bisaya, from Cebu', he smiled toothily.
So?
'Does he know me?' I retorted.
'Uhm.. I think no'
'Then, I don't know him also', I smirked.
'Haha', he kissed me again. I was bothered.
'You don't have that guava-taste that I look for. Wala na yung mint mo?'
'Why? Bad breath ba? Does it taste like cigarettes? I was smoking, sorry'
'No.. eh, I like those mints eh. What were those?'
'Hmmm.. I only have these', he showed it to me. Maxx. Ngek!!
'Have you bought new mattress?', he asked suddenly.
I was taken aback by the twist of the conversation.
'Uhm. No. Why?'
'Eh, masakit sa likod yun eh. I can feel the bakal of your bed'
Hmmmm… eh sanay na ako eh, despite the complaints I gather recently! hahaha
'Uhm, it's not a priority now', I said.
'I'll buy you one then'
'You must be really drunk to say that'
'Di nga. I'll buy you one'
'Yah right'
He kissed me again. I just don't know why I have this love-hate relationship with Les. When he's there, I am all giddy, but when he's not, I really don't care.
Maybe it's because I know he's just after the s3x. I am just not feeling pok-pok these days. Maybe I'm getting old.. or maybe I'm just tired of this game and I just want somebody to cuddle with..
'Hey, I gotta go Les. Have to take home Carlo'
'Let him take a cab' Not again.
'No. Not tonight. I'm just not feeling it. Text me nalang'
He did the weirdest thing. He bit my cheeks!! That hurts!!
'Ok Hush. I look forward to that dinner you promised'
Oh. I forgot that. Kebs.
*hush, hush*
'Ate, malate tayo', I texted Carlo.
Carlo and I had a drift recently, when I ditched him over Les, plus he accused me of blabbering details of his s3x life to his sibling. I swear, I had no malice intended!! :( So, I was half-expecting him not to reply to my message.
Beep. beep. Nag.respond :)
'Sige. Sunduin mo ko dito sa apartment'
Ahh.. All is forgiven naman pala for the greater glory of Malate. hahahaha
'Sama ko isang friend ko if ok lang ha'
He knows that I don't just let anybody inside Blake. Kaartehan lang.
'Sige, but ensure that I pick both of you up at your place at hinde kung saan-saan pa sya pasundo'
'Okies.'
Outside O-bar. 12.45am.
'Hush, Hush!'
I turned to look at who was calling me. Carlo nudged me and pointed to O-bar. Hay. Sabi ko na nga ba. Les.
'Oi Les, I thought you were in Boracay?'
'Just got back yesterday night. Meet my friend, blah-blah, he's also Bisaya'
He wasn't good-looking, so I didn't pay any attention. I just nodded. Yobong lang. hehe
'See you around', I said and proceeded inside Che.lu. I just want to drink and dance the night away :)
The place wasn't jammed so it was easy to breathe.
'Di pa kasi sweldo at katatapos lang ng white party', Carlo rationalized.
I checked out the guy he tagged along. Mike. hmmm… maputi, makinis, payat at bottomesang-bottomesa. hahahahahaha
'So where'd you pick-up that guy', I asked.
'Hush naman. Friend ko yan, tagal na. Tagal na rin kasi kami di nagkita'
I raised my brow. Yah, right.
'Uhm. Ok. I met him at McDonald's some time ago. Nakatitigan at yun, nauwi ako sa kanila, which is just a stone's throw away from my apartment'
Ay sh3t. Di na pwede tikman! hahahaahaha Kung kay Juan-kay Juan, kay-Pedro, kay-Pedro principle.
'But he has a boyfriend. Kaya bawal magtext sa kanya ng around 2pm to 7pm'
Hay. Talk about infidelity. What's new?
'Hush'
I turned around. Kris.
'Hey Kris, musta?'
'I texted you last Saturday. White party. You didn't come'
'Uhm, I was out of town', I lied.
We hugged and he said he'll go to his friends. I stared after him. Gahd, he's still cute, sporting that new haircut. Man, he's just too complicated, sala sa init, sala sa lamig.
'Hush, gwapo', Carlo interrupted my thoughts.
Again, I turn around. Parang gusto ko nang kumanta ng Total Eclipse of the Heart.
Marky.
'Oi, Hush. How are you? Kanina mo pa ba ako nakita? Kalalabas ko lang ng shift ko at dumiretso na rito'
Uhm. Assuming ka. Ano ako, stalker??
'I'm good. Ngayon lang kita nakita. You with your date?'
'No, I'm with friends. I miss you'
Hala.
'I miss you too', I reverberated his words. He hugged me tight. He gazed at me.
'You seem a lot healthier', he grinned.
Yeta ka.
I smiled mischievously. 'But I look more gwapo'.
'Hmmm… sige na nga', he laughed. Pasang.awa. Leche flan. hahahahahaahah
'Hush, he's my crush! You did him?', Carlo was whispering when Marky left.
'Uhm, yah. He was the barista across the office. Didn't worked out when I kidded about money matters'
Hay. I was expecting to meet new guys tonight!! Recycled pick-up lines na toh!!
.. and to top my quandary, Les came out of nowhere.
'There you are!' He smiled. He zoomed in for a kiss.
'hihi Yah, you found me..', I pouted. Gone was the guava-flavoured kiss I anticipated.
'I see you've been rounding the bars', I said upon seeing the black badge on his wrist.
'Oh this. I was accompanying my friend.. you saw him earlier, he is Bisaya, from Cebu', he smiled toothily.
So?
'Does he know me?' I retorted.
'Uhm.. I think no'
'Then, I don't know him also', I smirked.
'Haha', he kissed me again. I was bothered.
'You don't have that guava-taste that I look for. Wala na yung mint mo?'
'Why? Bad breath ba? Does it taste like cigarettes? I was smoking, sorry'
'No.. eh, I like those mints eh. What were those?'
'Hmmm.. I only have these', he showed it to me. Maxx. Ngek!!
'Have you bought new mattress?', he asked suddenly.
I was taken aback by the twist of the conversation.
'Uhm. No. Why?'
'Eh, masakit sa likod yun eh. I can feel the bakal of your bed'
Hmmmm… eh sanay na ako eh, despite the complaints I gather recently! hahaha
'Uhm, it's not a priority now', I said.
'I'll buy you one then'
'You must be really drunk to say that'
'Di nga. I'll buy you one'
'Yah right'
He kissed me again. I just don't know why I have this love-hate relationship with Les. When he's there, I am all giddy, but when he's not, I really don't care.
Maybe it's because I know he's just after the s3x. I am just not feeling pok-pok these days. Maybe I'm getting old.. or maybe I'm just tired of this game and I just want somebody to cuddle with..
'Hey, I gotta go Les. Have to take home Carlo'
'Let him take a cab' Not again.
'No. Not tonight. I'm just not feeling it. Text me nalang'
He did the weirdest thing. He bit my cheeks!! That hurts!!
'Ok Hush. I look forward to that dinner you promised'
Oh. I forgot that. Kebs.
*hush, hush*
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Rain Over Me (Dance Dance Dance!!)
I'm predicting this will be a major hit on the dancefloors! ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠
♫ Girl my body don't lie
I'm outta my mind ♫
♪ Let it rain over me
Ay ay ay ♫
Let it rain over me ♪
*hush, hush*
♫ Girl my body don't lie
I'm outta my mind ♫
♪ Let it rain over me
Ay ay ay ♫
Let it rain over me ♪
*hush, hush*
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Left with Nothing Right
July 20
Makati City
Everything seems to go on opposite direction these days.
I haven't slept for the past 2 nights. Work is getting heavier and my bosses are up my ass, scrutinizing everything that my team does. My mama just got admitted again, this time at Chong Hua and I am at a loss on where to get the funds.. and when I thought I found somebody I can share my future with, he turned a new leaf and gave me the cold shoulders. This must be the price of beauty. Hahahaha sh3t.
'Hush, dinner with Ongkoy at Lorenzo's and desert at Chilis G5', read the SMS I got from Sheila.
Heck. I'm not one to mull over my misfortunes and pity myself, so I shutdown my office laptop and proceeded to Greenbelt. I need to find an outlet to lay down my angst and frustrations. Best pair, food and friend.
'Ongkoy noticed you looked depress these days', Sheila greeted me.
Depress was an understatement.
'He does? How'd he know?', I tried to cover up by laughing at such silly insinuations.
'You do. You might be laughing now, but the eyes reveal a lot, Hush. Let's eat and talk things through', butted-in Ongkoy. Wasn't aware he was eavesdropping!! Hmf.
Friends. They know me from head-to-foot, cover-to-cover, leaf-to-leaf. I can't, damned, hide anything from them, especially Sheila.
'Is this the guy who's making you kilig these days?'
Sheila had that accusatory look. I avoided eye-contact and instead focus my attention on the gising-gising served by the hunky waiter. I couldn't decide which would taste yummier.
'You know me, Shie. I seldom get kilig over a guy. My gahd, I'm 30 and kilig is so kindergarten!'
'But you were. You kept on texting me baya'
I stopped and looked at her.
'Awwww.. what happened, Hush? I thought you were doing well with him'
'I thought I did, Shie. I thought we hit it off well, he was my Harry Potter date and we can carry on a conversation for hours!! I showed that I am the gentleman that I can be. Gahd, I was not even after the s3x with him! I mean, honestly, I do want to f#ck him, but I am not only after that!'
'It's the people that we fancy f%cking that we fall hard, Hush. Look what happened to me and Sheila!!', interrupted Ongkoy.
I just had to laugh.
Darn. He's right.
'Yah. I shouldn't have let on that I was in to him.. but then again, I'm old enough not to play games anymore, guys. Come on, if I like the guy, why waste the time not letting him know'
'.. and what happened?', Sheila mused.
'Well, he stopped texting. Literally. He did say we'll talk soon.. This week.'
'Why didn't you demand that you talk there and then?? What's the use of prolonging things when it will all boil down to the same ending??', Sheila was reasoning out.
'Because he said, we'll talk soon, and I'm giving him that space.. and I'm probably afraid of what he's going to tell me.. and you know me Sheila, I hate drama.. or probably afraid to face the drama'
'Well, you're right, Hush. Just wait for his text. If he talks to you, that's it. If he doesn't, then there are plenty of guys still out there!', Ongkoy chuckled.
'Yah. I hate myself for getting carried away with my emotions.'
My attention was already elsewhere.
Warm. Moist. Oozing. Delectably melts in my mouth.
Somehow, it soothes the pain.
*hush, hush*
Makati City
Everything seems to go on opposite direction these days.
I haven't slept for the past 2 nights. Work is getting heavier and my bosses are up my ass, scrutinizing everything that my team does. My mama just got admitted again, this time at Chong Hua and I am at a loss on where to get the funds.. and when I thought I found somebody I can share my future with, he turned a new leaf and gave me the cold shoulders. This must be the price of beauty. Hahahaha sh3t.
'Hush, dinner with Ongkoy at Lorenzo's and desert at Chilis G5', read the SMS I got from Sheila.
Heck. I'm not one to mull over my misfortunes and pity myself, so I shutdown my office laptop and proceeded to Greenbelt. I need to find an outlet to lay down my angst and frustrations. Best pair, food and friend.
'Ongkoy noticed you looked depress these days', Sheila greeted me.
Depress was an understatement.
'He does? How'd he know?', I tried to cover up by laughing at such silly insinuations.
'You do. You might be laughing now, but the eyes reveal a lot, Hush. Let's eat and talk things through', butted-in Ongkoy. Wasn't aware he was eavesdropping!! Hmf.
Friends. They know me from head-to-foot, cover-to-cover, leaf-to-leaf. I can't, damned, hide anything from them, especially Sheila.
'Is this the guy who's making you kilig these days?'
Sheila had that accusatory look. I avoided eye-contact and instead focus my attention on the gising-gising served by the hunky waiter. I couldn't decide which would taste yummier.
'You know me, Shie. I seldom get kilig over a guy. My gahd, I'm 30 and kilig is so kindergarten!'
'But you were. You kept on texting me baya'
I stopped and looked at her.
'Awwww.. what happened, Hush? I thought you were doing well with him'
'I thought I did, Shie. I thought we hit it off well, he was my Harry Potter date and we can carry on a conversation for hours!! I showed that I am the gentleman that I can be. Gahd, I was not even after the s3x with him! I mean, honestly, I do want to f#ck him, but I am not only after that!'
'It's the people that we fancy f%cking that we fall hard, Hush. Look what happened to me and Sheila!!', interrupted Ongkoy.
I just had to laugh.
Darn. He's right.
'Yah. I shouldn't have let on that I was in to him.. but then again, I'm old enough not to play games anymore, guys. Come on, if I like the guy, why waste the time not letting him know'
'.. and what happened?', Sheila mused.
'Well, he stopped texting. Literally. He did say we'll talk soon.. This week.'
'Why didn't you demand that you talk there and then?? What's the use of prolonging things when it will all boil down to the same ending??', Sheila was reasoning out.
'Because he said, we'll talk soon, and I'm giving him that space.. and I'm probably afraid of what he's going to tell me.. and you know me Sheila, I hate drama.. or probably afraid to face the drama'
'Well, you're right, Hush. Just wait for his text. If he talks to you, that's it. If he doesn't, then there are plenty of guys still out there!', Ongkoy chuckled.
'Yah. I hate myself for getting carried away with my emotions.'
My attention was already elsewhere.
Warm. Moist. Oozing. Delectably melts in my mouth.
 |
| photo grabbed here |
Somehow, it soothes the pain.
*hush, hush*
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Watch The Sun Come Up
♫ Hey, good morning
Hey, it's calling ♪
♪ Hey, good morning
Watch the sun come up ♫
♪ It's calling
I want another day with you ♫ ^_^
The much anticipated white party, the fuss and excitement over this event, went backseat and this song keeps repeating in my head.
Classic.
Good morning! :)
*hush hush*
Hey, it's calling ♪
♪ Hey, good morning
Watch the sun come up ♫
♪ It's calling
I want another day with you ♫ ^_^
The much anticipated white party, the fuss and excitement over this event, went backseat and this song keeps repeating in my head.
Classic.
Good morning! :)
*hush hush*
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